even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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