i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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