i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
