he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
