My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
