I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Say something about gay babies.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
