you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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