she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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