great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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