i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
