youre lurking in front of me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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