Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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