Do you still have your period?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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