1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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