i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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