Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
