A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
