ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize