Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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