I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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