She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
