i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
