She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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