Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
