So drunk its hurt
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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