Dual....:-)
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize