Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i think my cat just said my name.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
