Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
