Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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