um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
