three words: i give head
three words: not that well
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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