someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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