Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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