i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
