Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
