The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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