i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
