my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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