So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
