apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
