Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
