what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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