Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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