Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
