Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
