White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Found your dick twin last night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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