I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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