i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
