We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
