I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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