How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
