in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
