3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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