the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
