I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
