I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
