Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just pee around me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize