the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
did you just send me my own nude
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
