soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
