i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
