Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
