at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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