just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
