You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this is an emotional support booty call
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
