why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
